When The Heart Is In Doubt...

I guess… everyone at a certain point in their life, they just simply can’t run away from doubting themselves. Doubting themselves for many reason… even the strongest person have doubt in their heart although its greatly masked away.

Daunting.

Most probably the exact words that describes how I currently feel. Many, Im sure… have felt this eerie feeling. The feeling of trapped in a cage, relentless. Trapped and unsure of how to escape, even though the key is in the lock. Clueless. 

At this point, doubting whether Im good enough to carry all these responsibility… I can’t help but think - who am I. Im just a nobody. Am I perfect for all these task set ahead of me?

A daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a medical student and etc!~ Each which has their own rights to be fulfilled by myself. Overwhelming.

Yeah. I know Im not that good. Not perfect… but at least trying to be. The key word is trying. The effort you’ve put in… regardless of the outcome. 

Regardless… deep down inside, there’s this small inner voice saying - lets hurdle all this through together okay. 

In the remembrance of Allah, does your heart find peace. 

True. For the great times ahead… I think its most important to remember Allah’s Most Loving and Most Merciful words.

Hadis riwayat al-lmam al-Tirmizi. Beliau berkata ia adalah hadis hasan sahih. Daripada Anas r.a. beliau berkata: Aku telah mendengar Rasulullah SAW bersabda:

Allah Ta’ala berfirman:

Wahai anak Adam! Selagi mana engkau meminta, berdoa dan mengharapkan Aku, Aku akan ampunkan apa-apa dosa yang ada pada dirimu dan Aku tidak peduli.

Wahai anak Adam! Seandainya dosa-dosamu banyak sampai mencecah awan langit kemudian engkau memohon ampun kepadaKu, nescaya Aku akan ampunkan bagimu.

Wahai anak Adam! Sesungguhnya engkau, andainya engkau datang mengadapKu dengan dosa-dosa sepenuh isi bumi, kemudian engkau datang menghadapKu tanpa engkau mensyirikkan Aku dengan sesuatu, nescaya Aku akan mengurniakan untukmu keampunan sepenuh isi bumi.

English Translation:

On the authority of Anas, who said: I heard the messenger of Allah, Prophet Muhammad say: 

Allah the Almighty has said:

“O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind.

O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you.

O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as its.” 

Ref: 40 Hadith by Nawawi.

Sins.
If Allah gives all His mercy and love. Forgiving all our sins, dealing with each one of our attitude… and still give us every single thing that we need…

Then the test and responsibility he has given us… Are we to go through all that without his help? I don’t think so. 

A big slap to myself. Have to stop doubting myself!~
A reminder to those who doubt themselves too! 

In the end - I hope everybody will try their best and pull through!~

A new semester. A new vision. A new dimension.
Gambatte!~